How to Deal with a Momzilla

Allow me to begin by saying that this week has been craziness.  CRAZINESS.  Believe it or not, aside from writing this blog (which just won a Lovelie Award, by the way!), we're actually a wedding planning company.  (Yup.  Believe it.)  Since we're basically obsessed with each of our clients' weddings, we've been super busy and pulled in a bagillion different directions this week.

Working in the trenches of the wedding industry allows us to blog about real stuff.  Bonafide stuff.  Bonafide Bride stuff.  Like Momzillas.  You may even have one.  And girl... this post's for YOU.

Let's get to the nitty gritty, shall we?

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1.  She who pays, says.  If I could only have one item on this list, it would be this one.  Money is the number one reason families fight about weddings.  And rightfully so:  If your parents are paying for the whole shindig, I can't blame them for wanting a say in the matter.  (And if they want to control a portion of the guest list, see this post.)  I know it hurts to hear this, but if you want total control over your wedding, be prepared to foot the entire bill.  If you can, God bless your soul.  If you can't, sit down with your parents and make a list of what's important to each of you.  Ask each other why those things are important, and what would happen if you didn't have those things.  This includes you.  There may be tears involved in this conversation.  That's okay.  That just means you're letting your guard down and working through it as a family.

2.  This is your wedding.  Your modern wedding.  Over the past twenty to thirty years, the wedding industry has changed.  Okay, it's changed a LOT.  We've come a long way from tulle and royal icing.  (Although, tulle is cool again... have you seen these dresses?  I digress.)  When I told my own mother I was wearing this dress and champagne satin Louboutins, she basically Pringled.  In other words, she flipped a lid.  If your mother can't understand why you want colored shoes/mason jars/wedding gown with pockets/other cool stuff, try to understand where she's coming from.  She wants more than anything in the world for her little girl to have the perfect wedding.  That's all!  That's it!  She's not trying to sabotage you into having a boring, ho-hum wedding.  Now take action: Find magazines or blogs with pictures of cool ideas similar to yours, to show her that your ideas are not inelegant, but indeed on trend.  It is indeed what you've always wanted.  And it will indeed make a marvelous affair.  How would she feel if her mother forced decisions on her when she was planning her wedding?  She had her wedding.  Now it's your turn!

3.  But she's the "MOTHER of the BRIDE!"  You've heard it come out of her mouth.  And if you haven't, you will.  Kindly remind her that while she does play a special role, you do, too.  You're in this together.

4.  Giving in to keep the peace will only upset you later.  Biting your lip and letting your mother have her way will only turn into regret once memories and photos are all you have after your wedding day.  (That cake topper she insisted on?  Frozen in time in the picture on your mantle, my friend.)  Realize when you're compromising as a team, and when you're just plain giving in.  The latter is okay (and sometimes encouraged) on the smaller things, but don't compromise things that don't go along with your 'vision'.  Know when to tell the difference, and separate the situations as such.

5.  On your wedding day, let it go.  If tension results from disagreements during the wedding planning, agree to let it go on the wedding day.  Remember why you're all coming together in the first place, and enjoy your time with friends and family.  This is the one day in your entire life when everyone you love will come together in one place, and trust me, it's surreal.  Don't blow it by being upset with your mom.  Thank her for giving you life, for raising you into the beautiful woman you are, and love her.  Trust me; she'll love you back.


Have you dealt with a momzilla?  Have any tips to share?  We'd love to hear them!


jacin {lovely little details} said...

haha great post :)

Hindsight Bride said...

This is fantastic, down-to-earth, fair advice. Thanks a million for sharing it!

Hindsight Bride said...

This is fantastic, down-to-earth, fair advice. Thanks a million for sharing it!